Today we’re going to be dipping our toes into the shallow end and we’re going to be talking about what it’s like to be expected to keep looking young, no matter what your age is.
So, I was reading this article the other day and I came across a couple fun facts. If you know me, you know I love me some fun facts so I’m going to share them with you. Did you know that the US represents one of the most valuable beauty and personal care markets in the world, especially when we’re talking about anti-aging.
In fact, in 2020, Americans spent an estimated $14.2 Billion (with a B) in anti-aging products. Now I’d love to see that comparison vs. what we spent in toilet paper in 2020, but still a big number. To put that into perspective, that’s 27% of the global market, with only 4% of the population.
At first, I was like wow! That seems like a lot, we’re way over indexing there. But then I started thinking about it more and I don’t know, it kinda makes sense to me. We get pressure every day to keep ourselves looking young. I mean, men get pressure too, but I’m not a man and I can’t fully understand that. This podcast is more about the woman’s perspective so we’re going to leave that to someone else. I’m not saying men don’t get pressure so get off my back.
I’m saying that women get so much pressure to look young. We get mixed messages. Dress your age. You’re too old to shop at Forever 21, but that outfit makes you look matronly. Go au natural, let your hair grow out but girl you better take care of those wrinkles!
It keeps me thinking, are we just wasting our time trying to turn back the clock? Is it just wishful thinking because it’s a losing battle? Also, it’s expensive! When I look back, I probably started using Anti-aging products about 10 years ago. When I think about all that money I probably have spent, did it work? Who knows! Would I have just looked the way I do now without them? Could I have gone on a couple more trips instead?
In today’s episode, we’ll focus on three areas. There’s plenty more we can talk about but today we’ll bring it down to three because we don’t have all day. Going grey, the ever-increasing skincare regime and finally the question I’ve been pondering for at least the last year To Botox, or not to Botox?
First let’s talk about going grey. For years I’ve seen a strand pop up here or there. Of course, they’re never in the back of your head where you don’t have to look at it or notice it and unless you’re doing a weird selfie of the back of your head (which why would you do that?) you would never even notice it.
Oh no no no. It’s right up front. It’s in the hair that frames your face so every time you look in the mirror, it’s a gentle reminder that your youth is slowly slipping away strand by strand.
During facetime with my friends, they’ll console me and say “Girl, it just looks like a blonde streak, don’t even worry about it. You can’t even tell.” Uh, thanks. But you’re a lying b*tch.
I appreciate it, that’s what friends are for, to build you up. Sometimes I like to believe, maybe they’re right! Maybe I’m just too hard on myself, wouldn’t be the first time. Maybe if I keep telling myself it looks like blonde, I’ll actually believe it. But then I took another selfie today for this podcast and I’m going to be posting it later and I’m kidding myself. It’s grey.
The hypocrisy that men are considered “silver foxes” and women have to “learn to love the transition”. I saw that written the other day. I know you can’t see me, but there were some aggressive air quotes happening there. I keep seeing these articles profiling women that were “brave to embrace their grey”. Brave? Is that what it takes to go grey? Am I the only one that finds the word grey almost insulting to be described as something as simple as going grey? Brave is something like when you go into battle as a soldier or when you’re protesting human rights. It’s not reserved for things like getting grey hair.
But on the flip side, I see some women that are rocking the grey. I mean, big shout out to Diane Keaton. She is adorable! If I can look anything like her at that age, I would be so happy!
It’s not just the women I look up to that are serving up some serious chicness as I’m now labeling them “grey-haired divas”. No no no. It’s now GenZers. Or as I like to call them “the kids” or “the youngens”. I’m sorry if you’re a GenZer and that offends you but as an older Millennial, that’s how it feels. GenZers are purposefully dying their hair grey. Oh no, I wish I was kidding but I’m not.
For those of you that don’t know me, I should digress slightly, I swear it will be quick, to talk about the two new obsessions 2020 has given me. Some are healthy like Peloton.
I was actually having a conversation with one of my Peloton friends the other day, and yes I know how lame that sounds, and it reminds me of every conversation you have around your favorite shows on an OTT platform. Oh hey girl, you should check out Bridgeton, yeah that was really good did you see My Queens Gambit, oh yeah did you see The Outsider on HBO? That circular conversation is the exact same conversation if you have a Peloton except replace shows with workouts and instructors. I’m sure for those people that don’t have Peloton, it’s the most annoying conversation to listen to, but whateves. Anyway…
That’s a healthy obsession, maybe a less healthy obsession (not going to say unhealthy) would be TikTok. I can spend hours on that app. I am totally one of those people that will also text you TikToks. And you know what? Side note: If I text you a TikTok it’s because I watched a video and it made me think of you and I think you would enjoy this. I’m sending this a gift of 15-20 seconds of enjoyment that I thought you would like. So you’re welcome. and maybe you should watch the TikToks that I sent you because I thought of you for it and you can see why I thought of you. And this note is specifically for my fiancé because I know for a fact that he doesn’t watch the TikToks I send him. But I’m going to keep doing it.
So it’s pretty much where I learn about new music and I’m keeping up with the trends. I’m hanging with the youngens and I kinda get what’s going on. While I know that sounds SUPER lame, it’s the truth. So while I can probably do a whole episode on TikTok vs. when I was that age, we’re gonna stick to the grey-haired one for now and maybe I’ll make another episode of that later.
I’ve noticed a trend where they are choosing to dye their hair grey. As an older Millennial I cannot imagine choosing to be grey in my early 20′s! I don’t even want to be grey now, let alone choosing to be at 22? Are you crazy? Grey hair when I was that age was a signal of old age. My Grandma had grey hair but there was no way in hell my mom would have kept her grey hair. I don’t even know if she has grey hair, she’s been dying her hair for as long as I can remember. Who knows what color her hair is at this point? But I can tell you one thing, if there was grey, no way would it be showing.
To actually want to have your hair grey seems insane to me. But at the same time, just to play devil’s advocate, maybe we should be (dare I say it) thanking them. In a way, aren’t they just taking away the power grey hair holds on us? If a 22yo female can have grey hair, then who gives a sh*t if a 40 or 50yo has grey hair? Doesn’t it just become mainstream at that point?
Net/Net, my take on grey hair – turning grey feels weird to me. It’s almost this physical signal that I’m slowly transitioning to a new chapter in my life and honestly? I don’t know how I feel about that. In a way, I could be optimistic. I could be one of those people that say “I’m older and wiser now. These grey streaks are a signal that I’ve learned some sh*t and I should wear it with pride.” Yeah I guess. But let’s be honest, I’m also saying NO! I’d like to think I could pull off a chic grey, but wrinkles? That’s a whole other story. Those a**holes keep creeping up and I am NOT OK with it. But I’m actually really struggling with what is the right approach.
That leads me to the next topic. Skincare and the daily war against wrinkles. If you’re like me, the spending on your anti-aging regimen and my time spent getting ready for bed or in the morning increase. I am constantly googling ways to stop the clock and reading articles about recommended products or natural remedies, which…
You have to laugh when we talk about anti-aging natural remedies. That phrase shouldn’t even be allowed to be written. It is the opposite of natural to try to reverse what nature is doing. That is the opposite. You know what a natural remedy is? A time machine. And good luck getting one of those because Costco has been sold out for years.
As a marketer, I’m an easy target. I’m the target where when my clients ask “how do we find the right target?”, well if you have an anti-aging product, we’re super obvious. We just hold these massive red flags because our digital footprints are screaming that we are desperate to find solutions. Please sell something to me and I have money to spend. Currently, I am an avid sunscreen user, thanks to a couple of years ago. If I had to guess why I got a little bit of skin cancer, maybe it was partially due to the free tanning bed that was in my apartment complex when I was in college in Florida. Yeah, just to recap that, there was a free tanning bed in the Sunshine State because you can’t just get the natural, free sun and tan that God created, we have to go into a machine and just speed up the process of cancer. So I took total advantage of that and then here I am, 20 years later, having issues with skin cancer. So thanks for that.
My current regimen is sunscreen, a sh*t-ton of moisturizer, I currently use skin oil from Scratch Goods which if you haven’t tried it, it’s a local company and they make amazing all natural products. Oh, look at that! There’s a natural remedy! Actually thinking about it, it’s funny I use face oil now, I remember when I was a kid and just starting to needing to wash my face so I don’t get zits. I used to use Neutrogena cleanser – no, not Neutrogena, Noxzema! Noxzema where it tears through your skin so that basically nothing could live, and then I follow that up with Oil of Olay. Remember when it used to be called Oil of Olay? Yougens if you’re listening to this show you probably don’t know what I’m talking about because it’s just called Olay now. The got rid of the oil. I’m sure there’s some consumer insight that said women don’t want to put oil on their face. Well ironic, maybe you should now change the name back because putting oil on your face is back in style.
So I use that, I use anti-aging cream, haven’t tried a serum yet and I have a prescription for Retinol so I can use the hard-core stuff (maybe going back to my Noxzema days) and I put collagen in my coffee every morning. I mean, Jesus Christ. Even just naming all of that is just…kind of ridiculous.
I think I look pretty good for my age, this is me based on I see others online or on TV and I think they’re 35? They look like they’re almost 50! Then of course I get the slight panic moment of wait, do I look like that? Do I think I look young but actually I don’t? Is this like when I was in college and I was under 21 and I was using that fake ID for some 26yo and I was like “I could totally pass for her” which as I got older I’m like, oh girl, you were not passing for that, they just didn’t care and they let you in.
Another fabulous gift from 2020, more fine lines around my eyes. So I’ve been looking at – should I be upping my game? Is what I’m doing currently not enough? I feel like I’m the only one of my friends that has not had a single pinch of Botox in my face. I don’t know, it scares me. Botox seriously scares me. One, it’s this signal or symbol that the over-the-counter stuff is no longer working and you’re starting to lose the battle. Your turning a corner. But also, I hate needles. I can’t even look at needles; I have to look the other way when they’re taking blood. And you’re putting poison into your face, like actual poison. But listen I’m not totally against it.
A lot of my friends look great. It’s clearly working for them. But it scares me because once you start it, you can’t stop. That’s it. You’ve now turned this corner. You’ve made this decision and you have to live with it. Now you’re on that path. It kind of reminds me of when I was a kid and I really wanted to shave my legs because I had long, hairy legs. I had a little bit of an older friend, Tricia if you’re listening, I will never forget, we had a sleepover one night, we shaved our legs and our parents noticed and we were in massive trouble. But my mom was right, you shave your legs and that’s it! Moving forward you have to continue so if that is what Botox is, am I ready to start that journey right now?
Also when I look around, while my friends look great, I’ve seen some real, scary, warning stories. And by real, scary, warning stories, I mean reality TV. I mean, where I find the time to watch as much reality TV as I do should be considered the eighth wonder of the world. I’m not a lazy person. I don’t just sit around and watch TV all day. Even in quarantine, I’m working out, I’m trying to write an outline of a book, I’m actually working and doing my job and now I’m apparently starting a podcast. I’m not like a lazy person. But somehow, I’m able to, very efficiently, watch a lot of reality TV and one of my favorite franchises is The Real Housewives.
Most of these women have been surgically altered, let’s not even lie to ourselves. Very little of them, if any of them at this point, are au natural. And some pull it off real well like Dorit from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? I mean, she’s clearly had work done but I’m sorry, she’s hot. If I was into women, I mean she’s gorgeous. Cheers to you. This next statement has nothing to do with you. You’re doing a great job. Whoever your doctor is, keep going and maybe send him my way.
But others scare the sh*t outta me. I’m not going to name names because at the end of the dday these are real people and we have to remember that. I truly believe you are an a**hole if you call out people and talk sh*t about their appearance in public. That is public bullying someone. I know they’re on reality TV. I know you think you can say whatever you want. But keep your snarky comments to your living room, they don’t need to be out there in public. But watching the transformations from season to season are honestly worrisome as I look forward to is this my new reality. I really hope they get some kind of compensation for the damage their doctor has done because Girl, you better go get your refund. There is a fine line between looking younger and taking it too far and starting to look deformed.
Basically, when it comes to looking younger, to wrap up today’s conversation, and dealing with the pressure from outside sources, I just really think you gotta do you. I think the older I get, the more I realize as long as you are ok with yourself, who the f*ck cares what others think. Usually people’s opinions of you have way more to do with themselves and their sh*t they gotta work through. What makes you feel sexy? What makes you feel beautiful? If you can answer that, you’ll give yourself less wrinkles from stressing out about it and you’re going to save yourself some cash. Or maybe not. I don’t know. Your choice. You do you.
Well sadly that ends our time for today. I just want to say I know your time is valuable and I really appreciate you listening to this podcast. I had so much fun recording it. I can’t believe episode one is done already! I wish I could just pop open a bottle of champagne but of course I’m doing dry January (which I feel like is a really bad decision). But it’s been so much fun! I’m new to this. This is literally the second recording I have ever made so your feedback is also appreciated. I’m a big girl, I can handle constructive criticism. Don’t be a jerk, but if you have any comments or thoughts please send them over. And if you have any topics you’d like me to discuss as well, send those over! I would love to hear them!
Thanks again and until next time!